“The things I'm gonna do for my country.” Xander Cage

On January 20, 2017, the spotlight will shine upon the bombastic illogic, absurd vacuousness and macho braggadocio of an American dream come true. Vin Diesel returns to the role of Xander Cage for the third installment of Hollywood’s gratuitous xXx film franchise. Diesel built his career on extreme action flicks, but he got his start as a true American maverick, writing, directing and starring in his first two self-produced indie projects in the mid-'90s, the first of which was selected for Cannes and the second, for Sundance. He parlayed that into his attention-grabbing role in Saving Private Ryan (1998), and then broke into the action genre with Pitch Black (2000). Now Diesel has secured what is arguably the cushiest action hero role of all, the voice actor for Groot in the Guardians of the Galaxy films (after all, how hard can learning Groot’s lines be?).

Diesel’s other stock franchise, Fast and Furious, is seven installments deep already, with an eighth, The Fate of the Furious, pulling up next in just four months. The xXx and Furious franchises are formulaically parallel, not in the least bit surprising as they were launched a year apart from each other with Diesel in the lead and under the direction of Rob Cohen. Both of Diesel’s lead roles are "outsiders," the kind of rogue persona that has become even more popular now than it was back then as American institutional skepticism now reaches a treacherous height. Xander Cage is an extreme athlete; Furious’ Dominic Toretto is a street racer. They each flagrantly defy the system, not to mention the laws of physics and gravity. Neither character is a superspy, but in this farcical fantasy, these outsiders are superior to the established espionage experts. For some incomprehensible reason, they know what’s up better than those who have made a career of it. So the nation must call on them to save the day because both Cage and Toretto, along with their respective rogue teams, are the only anti-heroes capable of defeating cartoonish supervillains.

This sets the stage for plenty of wise-ass witty quips and American rebel smack talk, much more elegant than any cumbersome meaningful dialog that might distract from the stunts and car chases. Dialog is almost superfluous in this genre. Garish eye shadow can’t conceal Toni Collette (Jane Marke) rolling her eyes at some of the dumb lines she has to deliver, but she does so with tongue firmly planted in cheek, as does Diesel. xXx: Return of Xander Cage makes no aspirations to be an elitest Oscar-worthy art film. This is mindless bread and circuses, a distracting diversion to appease the masses, the kind of escapism that comic book films provide. Case in point, the character that ties all three xXx films together, agent Eugene Gibbons, is quintessentially comic book even though xXx is original, not drawn from a graphic novel source. Aside from having a great first name, Gibbons is played by the one and only mother****ing Samuel L. Jackson. Gibbons is almost identical to Jackson’s Nick Fury from the Marvel Comic Universe, only he swaps a facial scar for an eye patch. The recycle is so close that xXx gives it a nod in a Deadpool-esque scene of self-mockery.

While Diesel appeared in each of the Furious films, he pulled a Bourne Legacy for sequel xXx: State of the Union (2005), abdicating the titular xXx role to Ice Cube (Darius Stone). The first xXx film was a blockbuster, making $277M worldwide on a $70M budget. The second film was a failure – $71M worldwide with an $87M budget. What’s more, Xander Cage was killed off in a DVD extra of xXx: State of the Union. Awkward. However, SPOILER ALERT Cage is not dead. That is quickly dismissed as "fake." Nowadays, in the age of newsfeed headline-skimming, discrepancy scandals can be simply brushed off as "fake." END SPOILER ALERT. Moving on.

After over a decade of dormancy, Diesel is relaunching the xXx franchise in hopes of gaining global respect with more ridiculous action, or at least a decent box office return. And that means China. China is the second largest film market. The first thing you see at the start of xXx: Return of Xander Cage are the logos for China’s Huahua Media and Shanghai Film Group. A shallow pundit might blame China, but that market has actually helped Hollywood more than hurt it by infusing more money. A film can flop in the U.S. but make bank in China. Accordingly, Hollywood has been steadily and increasingly catering to China. It’s globalization, which isn’t about sending jobs overseas. Globalization is about capitalizing on international integration and the interchange of world views, products, ideas, and other aspects of culture. Without question, the xXx franchise is one of those park-your-brain-outside motion pictures. Part of the beauty of the action genre is that they can transcend borders. Spectacular stunts and breakneck fight choreography doesn’t need to be translated. That slice of American culture is what Hollywood brings to the world, and it sells well. Recently, films like Assassin’s Creed and Warcraft performed poorly in the states but made their bank overseas. Even xXx: State of the Union earned $44M internationally compared to $26M domestically, and that was over a decade ago. Only the most foolish ignore the international potential of any multimillion-dollar project.

“There are no more patriots. Just rebels and tyrants.” Xander Cage

Hollywood films now cater to the world market by increasing the diversity of their casts. Cube’s lead role in the sequel was a step in this direction, although it’s worthy of note that Diesel’s ambiguous heritage allows him to self-proclaim himself as a "person of color." But now, diversity means a lot more than adding a few token minorities in minor roles. Chinese audiences spot this immediately and have dubbed such roles flower vases. In order to win the hearts of Chinese moviegoers, Chinese stars must have lead roles. And here, xXx: Return of Xander Cage looks out for its own.

The second credit after Diesel goes to Donnie Yen, and deservedly so. Yen is one of China’s top leading men and brightest martial arts stars. Raised in Boston, he has some seventy films to his credit, yet has remained off the radar for most American audiences outside of martial arts fans. He had roles in some Hollywood projects around the turn of the millennium, but made the lion’s share of his films in China. xXx: Return of Xander Cage marks the second of a one-two punch Yen is delivering to America, following his scene-stealing role as Chirrut Imwe in Rogue One. However, despite Yen’s appearance, Rogue One underperformed in China. In xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Yen explodes onto the screen, delivering the second major action sequence in the film after Diesel’s preposterous attention-grabbing jungle-skiing opener. And like with Chirrut, Yen’s character Xiang steals every scene. It’s another excellent showcase for an actor that martial arts fans have long admired, and one more giant step forward for an Asian leading male role in Hollywood.

Supporting Yen and grabbing yet more martial arts fans is Thailand’s golden kickboxing superstar and stunt-master Tony Jaa (Talon) and MMA champion Michael Bisping (Hawk). Following his 2003 breakout film Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, Jaa unleashed a steady stream of hard-hitting high-impact actioners, and even co-starred with Diesel two years ago in Furious 7. Bisping joins the steadily growing cadre of MMA veterans trying to cross over into film. The Furious franchise already tapped MMA belles Gina Carano and Ronda Rousey, both of whom have made some headway in films. But the MMA men don’t fare quite as well. Mostly they are delegated to meathead heavies with minimal lines and maximum punching.

Beyond catering to China and the martial arts fan base, xXx: Return of Xander Cage makes an even bolder move to Bollywood. Also joining this installment as Serena is Deepika Padukone, actress, supermodel and former badminton champion. The most stalwart of martial arts fans might remember her for her fourth film, the madcap 2009 Bollywood Kung Fu mash-up, Chandni Chowk Goes to China. Padukone played the lead opposite Bollywood’s top action star, Akshay Kumar. The film also starred the originator of Shaw Brothers iconic cinematic Shaolin Monk, Gordon Liu. Does this mean a Bollywood dance number is in Diesel’s future? Jackie Chan is going there with his upcoming Sino-India co-op film, Kung Fu Yoga. It may happen for Diesel. When on promotional tour with Padukone, Diesel confessed, “I’d do anything with Deepika Padukone in it!” Can you blame him?

Unfortunately, Yen, Jaa, Bisping and Padukone are cast as villains, reminiscent of Jet Li’s first Hollywood venture, Lethal Weapon 4 (1998); however, there’s a twist. But we’ve already dropped one obvious spoiler about Cage’s demise, and if you can’t figure out what that twist is, well, then this review has already gone way too deep for such a simple action film. Let’s just leave it at this – there’s Team Xander and Team Xiang. And there is an Asian on Team Xander, Kris Wu as Nicks. Raised in Vancouver, Wu was part of the K-pop boy band EXO and began acting in movies two years ago. His most notable role was in Stephen Chow’s The Mermaid, which shattered box office records in China but performed dismally in America (overseas box office redemption remains a one-way street, with the U.S. winning). xXx: Return of Xander Cage marks his ninth role since his film debut in 2015. Strangely, Nicks doesn’t really have a super power. He’s not a lesbian sharpshooter like Adele (Ruby Rose), nor an IT master like Becky (Nina Dobrev), not a stunt driver like the Torch (Rory McCann). Wu plays a DJ. Someone has to make all that bikini booty bounce and everyone else is too busy shooting up the scenes.

“I could definitely make that work.” Xander Cage

xXx: Return of Xander Cage delivers exactly what it promises, a high-octane non-stop action romp, full of stunts, sexy stars and funny lines. It remains true to the previous two films, and if successful, could easily perpetuate the franchise with a wider, more diverse cast. In fact, if the Chinese and/or Indian box offices are profitable, it’s easy to envision the next installment pulling another Darius Stone move, with either Xiang or Serena stepping into the xXx lead role. Oops, was that another spoiler? For such a predictable franchise of films, that would be a truly surprising treat. Given the alarming rate of change that the world faces today, anything could happen.

“Ya know, if you're gonna send someone to save the world, make sure they like it the way it is.” Xander Cage