Beware: This review contains spoilers.

What is Dumbledore’s secret? Don’t Say Gay. We knew that. J.K. Rowling outed Dumbledore’s homosexuality way back in 2007 (and fear not Floridians, they never do explicitly say ‘gay’ in FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE so you can still see this movie). “I always saw Dumbledore as gay,” said Rowling back then at Carnegie Hall, “Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald…. Don’t forget, falling in love can blind us. [He] was very drawn to this brilliant person. This was Dumbledore’s tragedy.” That offhand backstory is the (hor)crux of the FANTASTIC BEASTS films so far and in the first scene of this threequel, Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) does confess his love for Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen).

While it’s nice to see one of the most iconic wizards be LGBTQ inclusive, it feels dubious. Rowling has been heavily criticized for her transphobic attitude by GLAAD, as well as from some of the stars of the franchise, including Eddie Redmayne, who portrays Newt Scamander, the magizooligist who wrote the textbook Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in Rowling’s Wizarding World. Daniel Radcliff (Harry Potter) and Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) have also been critical of Rowling stance on trans people. Given that the original Harry Potter series was so much about being the outsider, the Wizarding World fanbase is LGBTQ accepting overall, and has done what they can to cancel Rowling. She didn’t attend the HBO Max RETURN TO HOGWARTS 20^th Anniversary Special in person, earlier this year. But she did show up at the London’s Royal Festival Hall for the global premiere of FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE.

Rowling still has control of this the Wizarding World. THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE is her screenplay and she’s still a producer. What’s more, David Yates is still sitting in the director’s chair, as he has for this entire Fantastic Beasts trilogy and the last four Harry Potter films. They’ve been a winning team since 2007 so why change the game now? But that’s also one of several flaws with the new FANTASTIC BEASTS franchise.

THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE echoes many of the tropes of the original series, from the repetition of iconic lines like “always” and doing “what is right and what is easy” to the three-card monte hustle of Newt’s magical suitcase and Harry’s Seven Potters polyjuice shuffle by the Order of the Phoenix. The echo is diminishing. While revisiting these devices pulls on the dragon heartstrings of Potterheads, they also force a comparison between their iconic usage in the original and this new lesser reprise. Here Rowling straddles a fine magical line between hiding easter eggs and rehash.

Beyond Rowling’s cancellation blues, THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE suffered another blow from the muggle world that triggered the recasting of Grindelwald. In the previous installment, FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD (2018), Grindelwald was portrayed by Johnny Depp. But then Warner Bros. had him relinquish the titular character and his Elder wand after his ex-wife accused him of being abusive.

When Mikkelsen took over the role for this film, he achieved a unique stature as an actor present within multiple movie multiverses. Beyond the Wizarding World, he is also in the Bond franchise as Le Chiffre in CASINO ROYALE (2006), Star Wars as Galen Erso in ROGUE ONE (2016), and the MCU as Kaecilius in DOCTOR STRANGE (2016). Mikkelsen gives a commanding performance as the ruthless Grindelwald, perhaps better than Depp at this stage of Grindelwald’s story. But Potterheads know that Grindelwald will go mad, and perhaps Depp might have tackled that better. Given the nature of cancel culture, will Grindelwald be digitally recast in THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD akin to the way Star Wars has worked its CGI magic to bring its canon back in line? That would be a deep Depp fake.

Adding to the tribulations of THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE was Ezra Miller (Credence) who failed to attend the London premiere because he was arrested in Hawaii for disorderly conduct and harassment a few days earlier.

THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE is feeling a bit like the Cursed Child.

Back to School

Nevertheless, where THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE succeeds the most is the return to Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and the coziness of the Hog’s Head Inn. The first film, FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM (2016) had to claim its stake in the Wizarding World while establishing its own identity. It did so by going back in time, sixty-five years prior to the time of Harry, Hermione, and Ron, as well as introducing an American Ministry of Magic, the Magical Congress of the United States of America. That is almost completely abandoned in THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE.

Returning to Hogwarts reclaims the familiar, endearing Potterheads with nods to a redheaded student in the Great Hall (must be a Weasley), a random golden snitch flying through the towers, an all-too-short appearance of Professor McGonagall (Fiona Glascott), and more. The Hog’s Head Inn spends a lot of time gazing at Ariana Dumbledore’s portrait and the mirror, which was Aberforth Dumbledore’s (Richard Coyle) thing. Mirrors play a major role as many of the magical battles seem to take place in a sort of mirror universe. And this film spends a lot of attention to the complicated relationship of the Dumbledore siblings. For Potterheads, coming back to these old stomping grounds is heartwarming and a bit nostalgic.

However, we’re only visiting. FANTASTIC BEASTS is not about magical schoolkids. It’s adults. It’s here where the FANTASTIC BEASTS franchise falters in the same way that THE LEGEND OF KORRA failed to succeed AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER. Much of the charm of these original series was the kids’ perspective. We literally watched Harry, Hermione, and Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) grow up over the course of a decade. The same held true for Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph. They were kids and the development of their characters was heartfelt and humorous. We could all relate to their journey to adulthood. The awkwardness of trying to fit in was a major story arc for both Harry and Aang, especially as the ‘chosen ones.’

In THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE, the bulk of the levity falls upon the lone muggle, Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler). Overall, THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE has a darker tone than the rest of the Wizarding World films as it grapples with themes of divisiveness, authoritarianism, and prejudice. Grindelwald is a rising tyrant, which is a fitting metaphor in these troubled times in the muggle world. Kowalski grounds the Wizarding World from a no-mag perspective and sees the absurdity of it all with us, providing some much-needed comic relief.

Fast Forward to the Fight Scenes

The Wizarding World has always been challenging to cover for KungFuMagazine because it’s never been about martial arts. Witches and wizards don’t need martial arts. They have magic. And while there’s plenty of magic in Wuxia tales, there’s not much Kung Fu in the Wizarding World, at least not yet.

Nevertheless, the magical fight scenes are another place where THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE shines. The effects are bigger, brilliant, and more surreal. It’s more ballistic. More bodies get blown into the air from magical blasts. These scenes level up in terms of imagination and vision, built on the foundation of magical dynamics and physics previously established in the Harry Potter films. For anyone new to the Wizarding World, it won’t make a lot of sense. Basic concepts like Portkeys are never explained. However, the franchise abandoned that audience long ago and is now solely catering to its massive loyal fanbase.

The fight that is most relevant to KungFuMagazine is the fight to grab that Chinese market, now the biggest film market in the world. The first FANTASTIC BEASTS film did okay domestically by earning $234M. It did better globally, adding $580M for a total take of $814M, and the biggest international box office take was China with $89M. The sequel didn’t do as well: $159 domestically plus $495 internationally for a worldwide of $654M. Again, China was the leading foreign market with $36M. The second highest was UK with $15M. So, while the Wizarding World has yet to garner a major following in China, the Chinese box office is on the minds of every major blockbuster.

The Wizarding World struggles with Asian inclusion. Cho Chang (Katie Leung) debuted in HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE (2005). She was Harry’s first crush, but while she is included in the rest of the series, her role diminishes in the remaining films. THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD made more of an effort with an Asian human-ish incarnation of Nagini (Claudia Kim), although it was more of a cameo. Nagini doesn’t appear in THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE at all.

To its credit, THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD introduced a magical beast from Chinese mythology, the Zouwu (驺吾), an obscure creature that has the head of a tiger and the tail of a pheasant. As a huge fan of Chinese mythology - the yaoguai (妖怪) world (yaoguai might be more familiar to Westerners by the Japanese translation yokai) – and I had to look Zouwu up.

Likewise, THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE attempts to be inclusive. It begins in China with Newt witnessing the birth of a special fantastic beast, one that will be pivotal in the upcoming election for the new Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. The two main candidates are Vicência Santos (Maria Fernanda Cândido), a witch from Brazil and Liu Tao (Dave Wong), a wizard from China. Then Grindelwald tosses his dark wizard hat into the fray. Liu Tao barely has any presence at all. Perhaps, like with Wang Xueqi in IRON MAN 3, his role might be expanded in the PRC release but in the Hollywood edition, Liu is negligible. He hardly has any lines at all.

Most significantly, the Chinese fantastic beast that Newt encounters at the start of the film is pivotal to the election. It’s a Qilin (麒麟). The Qilin is dragon horse, better known by the Japanese translation Kirin, due to the world-famous beer brand. A Qilin appeared in SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS. It is one of the fantastic beasts seen when Shang-Chi first arrives in Ta Lo. Maybe after these two films, Qilins are trending. That would be great because in Chinese mythology, the Qilin is a harbinger of good luck and prosperity. THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE makes a sly play on the myth. Qilins appear to signal the birth or death of a benevolent ruler or sage, so to have them as an integral part of Supreme Mugwump selection is fitting.

What’s more, the election is held in Bhutan, which provides all the exoticness of Tibet without any PRC political entanglements. While Bhutan lacks formal diplomat relationships with China and does have some border disputes, it is far less delicate than Tibet.

Notably, neither the Qilin nor the Zouwu are included in the original book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The original tome was less than 50 pages, written by J.K. Rowling as a charitable venture that benefitted U.K.’s Comic Relief. Published like a textbook with Harry Potter’s notes and doodles scribbled in the margins, it didn’t have a plot, just an encyclopedic-ish collection of magical beast descriptions. It was updated in 2017 with a forward by Newt that gives a nod to his role in the capture of Grindelwald. Perhaps a new edition will be updated to include them, as well as more from the yaoguai world.

Warner Bros. has gained access to distribute THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE in China, so perhaps it’s worth it. To do so, the gay references were omitted in the PRC version to gain access to this lucrative market. It’s the third movie to get permission this year, following MATRIX RESURRECTIONS and THE BATMAN. Like the U.K., China will get an earlier release than the U.S.A. on April 8, instead of April 15.

Will there be a fourquel? The door is left ajar, and Rowling originally proposed a five-film FANTASTIC BEASTS franchise. So far, the franchise has been one of diminishing returns. The first installment had a $180M budget; the second was $200M and grossed $160 less. The budget for THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE in has not settled at this writing, but Depp’s contract stipulated that he’d be paid regardless of the film’s completion, and that alone cost an estimated $10-16M. Given the power of the Wizarding World, one of the few franchises like Star Wars or the MCU that has its own themed section in several amusement parks, THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE will have to flop hard to stop the Hogwarts Express from continuing down the tracks, leaving Dumbledore to say ‘Accio box office returns!’